Question: How Do You Feel About A Woman Making More Money Than The Man And Being The Head Of The Relationship?
Donald Bohanon: We obviously live in a different time and in some cases, the traditional relationship or marriage structure is a bit different in certain circumstances. That setup may be okay with some men, but if you are asking me if it’s okay with me, and if I would be okay with it, the answer is no.
That goes against who I am as a man, it goes against my nature and character. And more importantly, it isn’t biblical. But there are a number of men in today’s society that would be more than happy to be subservient to a woman if she is making more money.
And if that works for them, fine. But I am a bit old fashioned and I’m cut from a different cloth. No woman is going to have the rule over me in a relationship while I play the subservient role. That is simply not going to happen. She could be making 5 million a year and I could make $30,000 a year, but it still would not work, because it’s the complete opposite of who I am as a man.
And if she had an issue with it, it would probably be a very uncomfortable environment for her to live in. I think it’s safe to say, if she was trying to impose or assert some form of dominance over me (and based on my understanding that can be abusive in nature) just because she made more money than me, it would be a very uncomfortable situation for her.
And she would eventually see no other option but to change her way of thinking or leave. And if she wanted to leave that would be fine with me because I could live happily and comfortably with my $30,000 a year, with my dignity firmly intact. You can have a lot of money and be ignorant, clueless, and completely unfit to lead in any capacity. Wealth is not synonymous with wisdom, intelligence, discernment, perception, or leadership ability.
The thought of being subservient to a woman does not sit well with me at all. If that’s the point you are making and the question you are asking. But I’m sure there are thousands of men in this generation where masculinity is being watered down, and where the feminization of men is being aggressively promoted. And where knowing who you are as a man and the role you are supposed to play in the relationship, which is scripturally supported, has been lost.
So based on that I’m sure there are many men in this generation that would be happy to play the subservient role if the woman was making more money. But not me. My masculinity and dominant role as the man who is head of the relationship and household can’t be compromised and is not for sale at any price.
That doesn’t mean I wouldn’t love, respect, and treat her well. It just means she would have to respect my role as the man who is the head and leader in the relationship which is also ordained by God, and which is consistent with my nature and character.
She would be loved, happy, informed, content, and educated about a lot of things, if she just let me be the man, and just accepted her role as the woman. I’m dominant but wise, knowledgeable, loving, nurturing, strong, caring, communicative, protective, engaged, understanding, and gentle all at the same time. Sort of like the wise, engaged, knowledgeable, loving, caring, concerned, gentle, communicative, strong father, the woman never had.
But my overall opinion as it relates to that is consistent with scripture, and that is the woman was not created to have dominance over the man. But if some men are okay with that kind of relationship structure then that’s their business. But it’s not something I support.
But at the same time I don’t expect a woman to be comfortable or at ease being led by an unwise, selfish, uncaring, ignorant, foolish man, who doesn’t have her best interest in mind either. That’s why it’s important to get to know the person well, before making any kind of serious commitment, or allowing yourself to get emotionally attached or involved.