I’d like to officially announce today who I am engaged to be married to. It’s been a long time coming but this person has proven to me their faithfulness, loyalty, and their love for me over the years. They have acted as my closest confidante and advisor relating to many different, but yet equally important issues. They have been instrumental in helping guide me in the right direction most beneficial to me. I am forever indebted to this person for all they have done for me. So I would like to announce my upcoming union with my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ at his return. The wedding ceremony will be held at an undisclosed location. Did I getcha?