Question: If a person loves me they will support me no matter what I do, what is wrong with that?
Donald Bohanon: I don’t believe accepting everything about a man if you are a woman or a woman if you are a man can necessarily be defined as love. Especially if those things are self-destructive or harmful to that person. Even if they don’t have the knowledge or wisdom to see it at the time.
Sometimes others can see things that we can’t see. Embracing any and everything about your mate, just because he or she wants you to, for the sole purpose of being with that person is not necessarily support, but a sign of weakness.
I’ve heard that saying “if you love me you will support me no matter what I do” something that a number of ignorant men and women fall for. Not because they really believe it, but in many cases only because they are willing to compromise everything they stand for, just to be with that person. Even if they know in their hearts that support for the behavior is wrong.
Normally, beauty, great sex, money and a killer body are the primary motivators for that compromising position. And can quickly undermine that person’s self-proclaimed moral standards.
A solid relationship or marriage is built on honesty, trust, loyalty, and respect for the other person’s feelings, emotional vulnerabilities, and sensitivities. And not necessarily compromising with or accepting any lifestyle choice that the person desires to get involved in. For the sole purpose of being with that person, so you can call him or her your own.
Because ultimately if the person that you are reluctantly compromising everything you know is right, and that you stand for, just to be with that person and they are doing whatever they want to do, with whoever they want to do it with…… this really dictates that they are not yours at all, and if they have embraced that way of thinking and behaving, and believe it’s right in their heart, they will probably never be yours.
The fact of the matter is a true-lasting relationship is about us and not me or you. And is centered around respect for the other person’s feelings, emotional sensitivities, and vulnerabilities, and focusing on having the other person’s best interest in mind. Even if they are not wise enough or knowledgeable enough to see it at the time.
Accepting and compromising with any type of spiritually and physically destructive behavior for the sole purpose of being with the other person is not being supportive at all. But is in reality a sign of weakness and ignorance on the compromiser’s part.
And is usually done to ensure they keep the person so no one else can have them. But it is very important to determine what you have before you go to extremes to try to keep them. And if that person is doing whatever they want to do, without any respect for your feelings, emotional sensitivities and vulnerabilities, regarding those particular matters, whether they understand the consequences for those decisions at the time or not, It is probably safe to say you don’t have much.
And it’s certainly nothing worth compromising everything that is spiritually and physically right and beneficial for, just so you can say that is your man or woman. Evaluate what you really have before you go to extremes just to try and keep them.
If they don’t have any moral character and are not willing to compromise and sacrifice for the greater good of the relationship and or family, you are probably better off without them. And honestly you probably really don’t have much.