By Donald Bohanon–Published 10/19/23
I disagree with the notion that men who don’t have children wouldn’t be as responsible with children, and in general, as men who already have or had children in a relationship. Because I don’t think having children automatically produces responsibility in men.
Because there are several instances, and I know of a few men myself, who have abandoned their children when they were conceived because the thought of the responsibility of raising them was overwhelming to them primarily because they had no parenting skills themselves. Because they were never taught any.
In cases like that I think it ultimately comes down to character and love. Love, wisdom, Bible based knowledge which produces wisdom, and understanding, and even a level of intelligence is the foundation of character sort of like the building blocks of character. And those characteristics along with financial stability are essential in effectively and positively raising children and taking on responsibility.
Because if you love your children you are simply going to want to be there for them no matter how difficult the task may appear. And the ability to raise children right has so much to do with knowledge, wisdom, and love, which produces the ability to know right from wrong and having the willingness to teach that to your children no matter what society is saying or how your children may feel about it.
This is where character comes in because it encompasses all of that. Character and love will in most cases trump the desire to not want to take responsibility for what you have brought into this world. Men and women of character and compassion simply step up to the plate because they know they must, and their love for what they have created is the motivation to face whatever challenges may present themselves.
So, I totally disagree with her notion that men who don’t have children don’t have the ability or desire to face responsibilities of that magnitude. Or everyday responsibilities in general. There are several men who have stepped up to the plate to take responsibility for their children but unfortunately many are doing a terrible job of it because they lack the Bible based knowledge, wisdom, love, the character, to be successful at it.
Because many of them grew up in homes where those important qualities were absent. You will find that many children who grow up in homes with parents who lack those qualities or traits, (the building blocks of Godly character, if you will,) are more likely to be dysfunctional and involved in reckless or criminal behavior. The fact that you are willing to take responsibility for yours or be responsible doesn’t necessarily mean you will be successful at it.
The love and character determine the ability to be responsible and be successful at it in most cases. The reaping of positive results of being responsible, which is the goal, is dependent on godly character and love. Trying to be responsible without reaping the positive results from it is a sign of ignorance or irresponsibility. You can actually be irresponsible, while trying to be responsible.
And that’s not a good thing and can be counterproductive. The fact that some men don’t have children may in many cases be a sign of being very responsible because they refuse to raise children in an environment that’s not conducive to spiritual, emotional, mental, and or psychological growth.
For example, they may have a certain kind of woman they are looking for that they feel would be a good partner to assist with raising children properly. Or they may have religious beliefs that dictate that marriage is a serious proposition and they can’t be unequally yoked with a woman who doesn’t share their same views because that could prove very problematic for the children and the marriage. Or they simply may not want to bring children into a world that’s falling apart at the seams as it drifts further away from God and his principles.
And as it presently stands in this present environment finding a wife who fits those criteria and vice versa can be very challenging. So there may be a number of underlying factors as to why men don’t have children as opposed to the false notion that it’s based solely on their inability or desire to not face life’s responsibilities. But she makes some valid points regarding other reasons on the issue of what happens to children who don’t have a father around.